STATS

2018 World Ranking and Match Play Observations

  • And NEW:  World’s #1…..SNAPS!!  
  • 1st place loser: World’s #2 Nelly.  Roy Thomas would have closed the deal.    
  • Most Improved:  Barger is World’s #3 (from 31st) without even playing in 2016.  Must be the performance enhancing compression outfits.
  • Golf mecca:  Bloomington, IL…who knew?
  • Still in the conversation for GOAT:  Former World’s #1 Roderick Duane Adams.  A respectable world’s #4 ranking. 
  • Biggest drop: Grandpa Shims from 7th down to 35th.  WTF?  Gummies were clearly a good decision. 
  • 7-Wood:  Seth is ranked higher than his favorite wood at world’s #6.  
  • Mathematically Impossible:  Egan is ranked 38th out of 36 participants. Might as well start on the gummies…or meth. Can’t hurt.
  • 2019 Captains: both vault from 37th to 11th (Chad) and 21st (Casey)
  • Teach me how to Malcom:  Malcom is a much better golfer than Shimo…and so are 34 others.
  • St. Rita disappointment:  LVP JJ was World’s #2 in 2017.  He’s now 26th.  Has been removed from notable St Rita alumni list. 
  • Mt. Carmel dominance:  Mt. Carmel standout athlete Guts is 24th.  Clear dominance over St Rita.
  • 80%’ers:  MVT JP and self-proclaimed MVP Barger lead the WCS with an 80% “success rate”
  • TACO:  Seth is the new owner of the TACO Costume with the worst team record of 2-9
  • Double the times (2) he got laid in college:  Egan has not won a match since 2016.  Has gone 0-5 an impressive 4 times.
  • Cherry popped:   Komar finally won a singles match.  He’s 1-6-0 lifetime in singles.  Take that Corndog. 
  • All he does is win, win, win:  SNAPS has never lost a singles match.  He’s 6-0-1 lifetime.  
  • #SmitBag:  Smitty has the best team winning percentage. He’s 9-2. But seriously, wouldn’t you rather lose and not draft him?
  • 17:  Tall and Stearns both lead the WSC with 17 best ball wins.
  • Short fat sweaty bald guy:   Yes, Freezer banged Rhonda in college.  WTF.
  • Pure Hilding: The Brothers Hilding dropped a combined 36 places.  And destroyed a combined 1 tree.  And paid a combined $750 in damages.  
  • Garbage cans beware:  Petey the dentist ranked #32.  His nemesis B Moore is #31.   
  • Life-Size Grady is highest ranked TKE at #9
  • Life-Size Stearns is world’s #5…I guess that makes him the Life-Size World’s #1 
  • 7 Jen’s:  Bisaillon is ranked 7th.  That’s also the number of Jen’s he’s currently dating.
  • Hahahahaha!!!!!   Shimo leads the WCS with 37 lifetime wins.  But he’s still second to last in world ranking!! 
  • Asian Excellence Award:  Despite being terrible at golf, Shimo still took home the Asian Excellence Award in 2018.  
  • Scottie Pippen of WCS:  Koz has plummeted to #33.  He can still fire half of you mf’ers if you make fun of him.  
  • NardZZZ:  Nice improvement from #20 to #14.  14 is also the # of hours he slept each night.  

see for yourself...

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The WCS Official Statistician - ROTARY MIKE Glavin.  Aka: Tall.  Aka: Jones.  Aka: Glavs.  Aka: One Hit Wonder

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