2016 Recap 

Winner - The VARSITY

OG vs YG Series: ALL Square 2-2

Winning Captain - Shimo

MVP - Rod and NEW World’s #1

Official One-Hit-Wonder: Tall

Waveland 3 World’s #1: El Jefe (back-to-back)

Losing Captain - Kenny

LVP - Dudash

MVT (most valuable TKE) - Burrows. 2 years running.

DB - Dug.  

Graphic Designer of the Year: Kenny for JV logo. One word: Boobs

Brother of the week - Shimo

Rotarian of the Year: Rotary Mike

Winner of the Steve Burrows Fitness Award: Steve Burrows

2016 Summer Sausage Award:  Seth Gelander

Charity -  "WCS for ALS research" in honor of Shimo's friend Pat Tvrdik. 

  • $2600 from the VARSITY
  • $1000 from the JV Team to "WCS for ALS research"
  • $1000 from Nate Dog personally to "WCS for ALS research"
  • $360 from freeganTV also went to ALS
  • $8110 in total went to ALS in honor of Shimo’s friend Pat Tvrdik (Malcom, AD, Komar, and several anonymous personal contributors) 

Lines of the Week

"9-10 years ago I was the maniac on this trip. Now I golf and go to bed” - Nardi  (as told to Burrrows)


Tell the JV team that your wife wasn't born yesterday.  I opened the envelope from them with the glitter bomb inside over the trash can.  Better luck next time.  - Kate Caliento


"I think you should lose a stroke if you do goddamn stretches.” Guts

(in reference to Smitty doing some gay hip flexor stretch Doug showed him between every hole) 


Nards: "I set the chin up record in HS...36.” 

Burrows: "Fuck. I haven't done 36 chin ups in my life.”


Nardi: "Grady you order the Uber you have more money” 

Grady: "I'm aware."


”Sometimes I watch the LPGA tour and just jerk off” - Kenny


“Your group of friends crushed a ton of pussy.  

Our group, not so much. We're more titty club guys.” - Guts


Guts:  "Jessica (cart girl) Who has the best hair?"

Jessica who has the best teeth? (Said with creepy grin showing off his new fake teeth) 

He declares himself the winner (vs. Smith, Stearns, and Egan) even though Jessica never said a word. 


Malcom: after seeing FREEGANELLY  #7 T-shirts

"That's the total number of women those three have slept with in their entire life


“Just so you know, I'm a reasonably desirable dude” - Stearns


Starter: “Why are so many guys wearing green shirts?”

Guts: "Because they're gay”. 

Starter: “Where'd they get ‘em at?”

Guts: “Gay homeless shelter."


Saturday Night Fights

If you didn’t stick around on Saturday night to watch the UFC fights…you missed more than just fights.  Let’s just say a few ladies were invited over to hang out.  And while they were hanging out, a few guys figured out that text messages were showing up on screen as Egan was streaming the fight on his iPhone which was plugged into the TV.  Enough of the technology lesson…here’s a recap of the 50+ messages that entertained us during the fights.  Not suprisingly, the ladies did not stick around very long.  They were not as amused by the messages as we were...

click here for: UFC Text Messages

The rest of the story:

  • Snaps returned as Snaps and not the Craig he left as last year…still big fan of Bruce Jenner though. 
  • Do not let T Walk borrow your Yeti
  • Chip has a fantastic pretend backhand.
  • Nate Dog’s pretend forhand will make Federer shit himself
  • Driving on a green is perfectly acceptable if the golf course put it in the wrong place
  • Kooey appreciated all 700 fortune cookies, Karate suit, hands free magnifier, Chinese-English dictionary, 6XL Wetsuit top, “Trunk in my Junk” male enhancement, and false teeth
  • freeganTV can now add game show hosts to their resume (“The Price is Wrong Bitch”)
  • Stix can “Feel the Bern"
  • Rod’s dog is a very accurate shitter
  • FROD (Freezer/Rod) took down the SALMON EXPRESS
  • From all accounts, Dew stopped cheating with range balls this year
  • "Fuck, Fuck, Mother fucker, fuck, fuck…Mother fucking fuck"…the sound of a lost Egan. Thank god for Pat Casey.
  • Rory played dead in the pool and scared the living shit out of an entire family. He then rose from the dead, said nothing, and went straight to the bar.  Jones.
  • 2016 has motivated Guts to buy new golf clubs.  
  • Stearns hits par 3 green. 3 feeet from the pin. Smitty on same green, 40 feet from the pin. Who do you think walked off with Birdie…and who with Par?  Yup.  
  • Slots had alot of bachelor parties.  
  • The JV team is not very smart, but they can draw vaginas way better than the Varsity.
  • Pat Casey is the greatest score keeper of all time.  There is not even a close second.
  • Bisaillon cant say the words: hundred or breakfast
  • The Steve Burrows fitness award was earned with blood, sweat, tears, OK…and a few burritos.
  • Coach Shimo wore it well and delivered.
  • Sunset Nards voted best picture
  • The Walrus was a vegitarian on this trip
  • The JV played like the Freshman C-team on Saturday. 13.5 to 4.5. Corndog was 22% of their points.  
  • 2017 will be “STRAIGHT OUTTA THE SOUTH SUBURBS” featuring Dr. Petey & Eazy E
  • The "changing of the guard"…happened from the ladies tees.  That’s right. Rod (new W#1) beats Guts and Tall (former W#1) loses to Nelly in singles FROM THE LADIES TEES. Rumor has it, it was the 2017 Captain’s idea.  

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